How to Best Help a Teen with Depression: 5 Tips for Parenting a Teen with Depression from a Licensed Therapist
Parenting a teenager is never simple. Between academic pressures, shifting friendships, and the push-and-pull of independence, the adolescent years bring enormous change. But when depression enters the picture, the
challenges become even more complex. Watching your teen withdraw, struggle, or lose the spark you know so well can be heartbreaking—and it often leaves parents feeling helpless, scared, and unsure of what to do.
The truth is, your support and presence matter more than you may realize. While you can’t “fix” your teen’s depression, you can play a powerful role in their healing by offering stability, compassion, and understanding. As a therapist who specializes in parenting support, I often remind parents that they don’t need to have all the answers. What matters most is showing up consistently, even when it feels uncomfortable or uncertain.
Here are five tips on how to help a teen with depression
We offer practical tips to help a teen with depression to guide your connection, reduce conflict, and support both your child and yourself through this difficult season.
1. Create a Safe, Nonjudgmental Space for Communication
Teens with depression often feel isolated, ashamed, or misunderstood. They may believe that no one could possibly understand what they’re going through, or they may fear disappointing their parents by admitting how badly they feel. This is why creating a safe, judgment-free environment is so crucial.
- Lead with listening. Instead of offering quick solutions or trying to cheer your teen up, focus first on listening without interruption. Simple responses like “I hear you,” or “That sounds really hard” can help your teen feel validated rather than dismissed.
- Avoid minimizing. Comments like “It’s not that bad,” or “You’ll get over it” can unintentionally deepen your teen’s sense of isolation. Instead, acknowledge the weight of what they’re feeling, even if you don’t fully understand it.
- Make space for silence. Sometimes your teen won’t have the words—or the willingness—to talk. Sitting with them quietly, offering your presence without pressure, can communicate love more powerfully than any lecture.
Remember: communication doesn’t always mean long, deep conversations. It can look like a car ride where you let them play their favorite music, a late-night snack together, or simply asking, “How’s your energy today?” Small, consistent check-ins add up.
2. Educate Yourself About Teen Depression
One of the most empowering steps you can take is learning about depression—how it manifests in teens, what it feels like, and what treatment options exist. Depression isn’t just “being sad” or “moody.” It’s a serious condition that affects brain chemistry, energy levels, sleep, and thought patterns.
Common symptoms of depression in teens include:
- Withdrawal from friends and family
- Loss of interest in activities they once enjoyed
- Changes in eating or sleeping patterns
- Irritability or anger (sometimes more than sadness)
- Feelings of hopelessness or worthlessness
- Difficulty concentrating
- Declining school performance
When you understand these symptoms, you’re better equipped to respond with compassion instead of frustration. For example, if your teen is sleeping late or struggling to get out of bed, it’s not necessarily “laziness”—it may be part of their depression. This shift in perspective can help you adjust your expectations and approach.
Take time to read articles from reputable mental health organizations, listen to podcasts, or even attend parent workshops. And if your teen is working with a therapist for teens, don’t hesitate to ask the therapist for resources or guidance for yourself as a parent.
3. Balance Support with Healthy Boundaries
It’s natural to want to protect your teen from pain. But over-functioning—doing everything for them, excusing all responsibilities, or walking on eggshells—can unintentionally reinforce helplessness. On the other hand, pushing too hard or being overly critical can create shutdown or conflict. The key is finding a balance between compassion and boundaries.
- Set realistic expectations. Depression may impact your teen’s energy, motivation, and concentration. Instead of expecting perfection, break tasks into smaller, more manageable steps. For example, if schoolwork feels overwhelming, start with 20 minutes of focused effort rather than demanding hours at a time.
- Offer choices, not ultimatums. Giving your teen a sense of control can help reduce resistance. Instead of saying, “You have to exercise today,” you might say, “Would you rather take a short walk outside or do some stretches in your room?”
- Maintain family rules. While some flexibility may be needed, it’s important to keep basic household expectations intact. Structure provides security, and knowing what’s expected can help your teen feel grounded even in the midst of depression.
- Model healthy boundaries for yourself. It’s okay to say, “I love you and want to support you, but I also need to take care of myself right now.” When you demonstrate self-respect, you give your teen permission to respect themselves too.
Finding this balance is rarely perfect. Some days you’ll lean too far in one direction and then course-correct the next. What matters most is staying consistent and compassionate while holding a sense of structure.
4. Encourage Professional Help and Normalize Teen Depression Treatment
Depression is a medical condition that often requires professional treatment. While parents can offer love and support, they can’t provide the clinical care that may be necessary. Encouraging your teen to seek therapy—and possibly consulting with a pediatrician or psychiatrist about medication—can be life-changing.
- Normalize therapy for depression in teens. Talk about therapy as something many people use, just like going to the doctor for a physical illness. Share examples of public figures who have openly discussed mental health treatment, or mention times you’ve sought help yourself.
- Collaborate on finding the right fit. Involve your teen in choosing a therapist if possible. Let them look at bios or photos, and encourage them to share their preferences (such as wanting a male or female therapist, or someone who specializes in working with teens).
- Be patient with the process. Sometimes it takes a few sessions—or even trying more than one therapist—before your teen feels comfortable. Validate their feelings if they don’t connect with the first professional they meet.
- Stay involved when appropriate. Depending on your teen’s age and the therapist’s approach, you may be invited to join some sessions. Be open to feedback and willing to make changes in your parenting style if it helps your teen’s healing.
Most importantly, treat therapy as a partnership, not a punishment. Saying, “You need therapy because something is wrong with you” will shut a teen down. Instead, try: “I know you’re struggling, and therapy is a safe place where you can have support that’s just for you.”
5. Take Care of Yourself, Too
Parenting a teen with depression can feel overwhelming. You may carry worry, guilt, or frustration. You may lose sleep wondering if you’re doing enough—or fear every argument will make things worse. This emotional weight is real, and it’s why self-care is not optional; it’s essential.
- Build your own support system. Whether it’s a therapist, a support group, trusted friends, or family members, you need a safe place to process your feelings.
- Practice stress management. Exercise, meditation, journaling, or creative outlets can help you release tension and stay grounded.
- Set realistic expectations for yourself. You won’t always respond perfectly. You may lose patience or say the wrong thing. Give yourself permission to be human—and know that repair and reconnection are always possible.
- Maintain your identity. It’s easy to let parenting a struggling teen consume your whole world. Try to keep up with at least one or two activities that remind you of who you are outside of parenting.
When you care for yourself, you’re better equipped to show up with patience and resilience for your teen. Think of it like oxygen masks on an airplane: you must put on your own mask before helping others.
Crisis Resources
If your teen ever expresses thoughts of wanting to harm themselves, talks about suicide, or you feel they may be in immediate danger, take it seriously. Stay calm, stay with them, and reach out for help right away. You do not have to handle this alone.
Los Angeles & California Resources
- Los Angeles County Department of Mental Health – ACCESS Center: 1-800-854-7771 (24/7) – crisis evaluation, referrals, mobile crisis teams
- Didi Hirsch Suicide Prevention Center: Call or text 988 – local hub for suicide prevention services in Los Angeles
- Los Angeles Suicide Prevention Hotline: (213) 381-5111
- California Youth Crisis Line: 1-800-843-5200 – for youth ages 12–24 and their families (call, text, or chat)
- Teen Line: 1-800-852-8336 or text “TEEN” to 839863 – peer-to-peer support for teens (based in Southern California)
- Parents Anonymous / California Parent & Youth Helpline: 1-855-427-2736 – support for parents and caregivers
- 211 Los Angeles County: Dial 211 for referrals to local health, social, and crisis services
National Resources (U.S.)
- 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Call or text 988 (available nationwide)
- Crisis Text Line: Text HOME to 741741 for text-based support
- The Trevor Project: 1-866-488-7386 (or text “START” to 678678) – crisis support for LGBTQ+ youth
Final thoughts about how to help teens with depression
Parenting a teen with depression is a journey filled with both heartache and hope. You cannot take away your child’s pain—but you can walk beside them, offering love, stability, and understanding. By creating a safe space for communication, learning about depression, balancing support with boundaries, encouraging professional help, and caring for yourself, you build a foundation for healing.
Depression doesn’t define your teen, and it doesn’t define your family. With time, depression treatment for teens, and support, many adolescents recover and go on to live fulfilling, connected lives. While the road may feel uncertain, remember that your presence matters deeply. You don’t need perfect words or flawless parenting—you just need to keep showing up.
About the Author
Lesley Lasker, LMFT, is a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and the founder of Lasker and Associates, a Therapy Collective based in Los Angeles, California. She and her team provide compassionate, evidence-based therapy for individuals, couples, and families. Lesley is passionate about supporting people through the complexities of life including parenting children of all ages and raising a child with mental health struggles. She is especially adept at helping her clients find resilience, build internal strength the to develop the tools parents need to Parent a Teen with Depression.
With years of experience walking alongside clients during their most difficult seasons, Lesley’s approach is warm, collaborative, and rooted in the belief that no one should have to navigate life’s challenges alone.